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When you expect someone to understand you and they don't, its painful.
From my personal experience I have realized that is impossible for people to truly understand you and experience exactly what you are going through. I invite you to explore this perceptive because it may:
- give you an understanding of why some people may act cold, harsh or uncaring towards your feelings and seem to just not get it.
- also diminish your suffering in relationships caused by your expectation that "people should understand you".
My husband went on this ridiculous 7 month adventure where he walked from Mexico to Canada to raise Veteran suicide awareness and to him it was the most profound, challenging experience he had ever been through.
Check out his news story here - http://www.king5.com/article/news/local/hiking-2600-miles-for-veteran-suicide-awareness/490965573
While he was talking to me about one of his life threatening moments on his journey, I sensed that I didn't truly understand the gravity of what he was talking about. What I did understand was my mind trying to make sense of what he said through MY FRAME OF REFERENCE.
Everybody has their own unique FRAME OF REFERENCE based on their belief systems and what they have experienced in their life.
For example, think of a waterfall. Now every single one of you will see an image of a specific waterfall that your mind has previously experienced nothing more, nothing less. It could have been an actual waterfall you have physically visited or it could be an image in your mind you have seen from movies, social media etc. If you get still enough you will be able to point out exactly where this image is coming from. Once you realize where this image is coming from you will understand that you are not really seeing what other people are seeing. If 500 people read this post, there will be 500 different waterfalls.
When my husband was talking about that life-threatening moment, I did not really get it because I did not experience EXACTLY what he was talking about. I was seeing his words through the LENS of my FRAME OF REFERENCE and I realized I would never ever be able to experience what he was talking about and once I made peace with that, I relaxed and I felt a deeper layer of compassion toward my husband and myself.
Understand the one who does not understand.
There are times when you dont understand people and you are in innocent in that and the same way they are innocent in that too. If you can understand that people cannot understand each other, that brings about a unison - in a weird way - basically we are all in it together and we are the same.
If you are suffering over the fact that someone does not care and that they do not understand you, its not them that are causing you your suffering but your innocent expectation of them to be/act/behave a certain way. Its like you are asking them to see what you see. If you understand that it is literally impossible for them to see what you are seeing, this expectation should fall away, therefore your suffering.
Everyone is understanding to their best ability, nothing more, nothing less.